


Brand New Day

by sal_si_puedes



Series: Brand New Days [2]
Category: Actor RPF, Kenzarelli, Larwan - Fandom, The Old Guard (Movie 2020) RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Bleed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Or Is It?, Smut, description of fake blood and gore, the boys talk about their feelings omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:21:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29903808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_si_puedes/pseuds/sal_si_puedes
Summary: Marwan has a very strong reaction to shooting the "Keane shoots Nicky in the mouth" scene. Enter emotional hurt/comfort pursued by smut. And by talking about feelings. All's well that ends well!(This is a sequel to"Don't Let Go", but it can totally be read as a stand-alone.)
Relationships: Marwan Kenzari/Luca Marinelli
Series: Brand New Days [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198793
Comments: 16
Kudos: 42





	Brand New Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [asanyfulekno](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asanyfulekno/gifts).



> This is so ridiculously over the top - I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!! :)
> 
> This is for the lovely [asanyfulekno](https://asanyfulekno.tumblr.com/), who's having a bit of a tough time. I hope this cheers you up a little, my darling!!
> 
> The title is taken from Sting's song "Brand New Day".

The concrete is as hard as expected and surprisingly cold, and there’s a piece of rubble lodged between Luca’s back and the floor, right where his kidneys are. It feels much larger and a lot more sharply pointed now than it looked just a couple of minutes ago. Luca had briefly thought about kicking it aside a bit before he got into position so he wouldn’t have to lie on it during the scene but then he’d reconsidered. The piece of rubble would help make it more real, he’d thought. Nicky wouldn’t have had the opportunity to kick it aside before he went down, so he’d left it where it was and had lied down on his spot.

The hair and make-up artist and the set designer are still busy applying finishing touches to Luca’s make-up and the floor around him. Blood, blood, and more blood. And dust, of course. And debris.

There’s industrious buzz around him, people hurrying back and forth, Gina’s quietly talking to Marwan who’s lying on the floor as well, only a few feet away behind Luca, and there are other voices and noises, metal scraping over metal, a lid or a door slamming shut, broken glass and shattered concrete crunching underneath the soles of heavy shoes. 

Luca closes his eyes and tries to breathe as evenly and as calmly as he can. He pictures Marwan and how he is lying on his side behind him, head propped up on his hand, his eyes wide and dark and serious, just like he had looked right before Luca had turned his head to face the ceiling. Just like he had looked this morning, back in Luca’s bed at the hotel, but this morning they’d been lying face to face, and Marwan had been smiling. He’d slowly traced his fingers along Luca’s cleft, and his smile had deepened when they’d found Luca’s entrance, Luca’s heartbeat pulsing against their tips.

The sun outside had just begun to rise, and the still very young, very soft rays of sunlight streaming in through the window had turned the color of Marwan’s eyes to gold. Luca recalls opening his mouth, desperate to say something, to let Marwan _know_ , but his heart had been so full the words hadn’t made it past his lips. So, the silence had stretched between them, and their smiles had faded and turned into deep, arousing kisses filled with longing and sunlight.

He keeps his eyes closed now, even though he’s curious to watch Marwan and Gina talk. He imagines Marwan nodding at something Gina says, and he can’t help but smile for a moment. He keeps his eyes closed, loosely closed, and as relaxed as he can because the scene they’re about to shoot requires him to keep them open without blinking for a while, pretending to be dead, and that works best when they’re not too dried out already, and when they’re as relaxed as possible. The piece of rubble is pressing against his back, hard and unrelenting, and it’s beginning to hurt a little.

When people retreat and things quiet down, Luca takes a deep, slow breath and wills his muscles to relax. Then he opens his eyes. For a second, Gina’s face appears in his field of vision, and he can see her nod and probably smile but he doesn’t let his eyes focus. 

“Play dead, motherfucker,” she says and gives him an enthusiastic thumbs up. 

A few seconds after that, Gina yells _Action_ , and from then on it takes only a few moments more until Marwan’s face appears above Luca, and there’s a sudden warmth against Luca’s cheek where Marwan’s hand hovers but not quite touches. 

Marwan groans and turns his head, every movement he makes, even the smallest one, dripping with pain. 

Luca waits another fraction of a second. Then he gasps, sucking in a deep breath of air, mouth open wide, and his head shoots up for a brief moment, accompanied by another visceral groan from Marwan. This time, the pain in Marwan’s voice is laced with earthshattering relief.

Luca looks up, and Marwan looks down at him, and their eyes meet. It’s nothing more than a flash in them, that look that causes Luca’s stomach to lurch and that makes him feel as if there’s a giant hole in the floor beneath him all of a sudden. His hand, meaning to reach for Marwan’s face, hesitates, and he grabs hold of Marwan’s arms instead, already preparing to turn to his side and get up.

“Let’s go,” he says, and grabs his gun from where it has been lying next to him on the floor, ready to scramble to his feet. “Andy—”

From the corners of his eyes he sees Marwan turning around, taking a few staggering steps toward a couple of dead mercenaries-slash-extras lying on the floor and grabbing one of the automatic guns from one of the bodies. Luca breaks into a run, and Gina yells _Cut_. 

For a second, Luca allows his eyes to flutter shut, and he releases a long, shaky breath, leaning forward, his hands on his knees. From one moment to the next he feels dead tired, strangely out of breath, and his body is trembling with exhaustion. Good thing that there’s just one more scene they have to shoot today. He rubs his palms against his thighs and clears his throat.

“Luca, Marwan, can I talk to you for a sec?”

It’s Gina, and Luca takes another deep breath before he turns around, opening his eyes again and curling his lips into a smile.

“ _Ma certo_ ,” he says, nodding. Their gazes meet, and she smiles back.

“That was great,” she says and cranes her head a little, trying to cast a look over Luca’s shoulder. “For the scene take, could you tr—Wait,” she interrupts herself, her brow furrowing. “Where’s Marwan?”

Instantly, Luca’s stomach drops, and when he turns around, following her eyes, and Marwan is nowhere to be seen, his heart misses a beat. He can still feel that piece of rubble pressing against his back, right where his kidneys are, a phantom pain that echoes the one in his heart.

“Maybe he had to—”

“Shit,” Luca cuts in, running his palms over his face absentmindedly. He only barely registers how Gina flinches, and it takes him a second or two to grasp that her reaction is probably about the make-up. “I think I know where he is.” He remembers that look in Marwan’s eyes, that flash, and he bites his lips. 

“Do you—” Gina begins to ask, but Luca nods before she can finish her question.

“Yes.”

Gina nods again, once. “Go.”

He hastily grabs his phone and wallet from the assistant he had left them with before he entered the set a few hours earlier, and all but runs down the stairs and out of the building.

The way to the parking lot and to Marwan’s trailer is much too long, and Luca’s heart is beating out of his chest when he knocks on Marwan’s door, his phone still tightly clutched in his hand. He’s still in costume and make-up, and the drying fake-blood-and-brain-matter in his hair is beginning to itch, but he barely notices that. He knocks again, and when there is no answer, he calls Marwan’s name.

He waits for a few moments longer before he knocks a third time and calls out for Marwan again, and when there still isn’t any answer, he curses under his breath, the sinking feeling in his stomach intensifying with every breath he takes.

Inhaling shakily, he reaches for the door handle and pushes the door open. It’s pretty dark inside the trailer, with no lights on and the curtains drawn shut, and at first glance, Marwan is nowhere to be found, but as soon as Luca steps inside and his vision adjusts to the light conditions, he sees him.

Marwan’s sitting on the floor, his knees drawn up and his arms slung around them, rocking back and forth. His eyes are squeezed shut tightly, and he’s murmuring something under his breath, a constant flutter of lips, words in a language Luca doesn’t understand, accompanied by an occasional head shake, quick and abrupt, as if he’s trying to chase something away. 

Luca stops dead in his tracks. Waves of pain and misery are radiating from Marwan’s body, and for a moment Luca doesn’t know what to do. He clears his throat, and for a second, the rocking stops, but then Marwan groans just like he did a few minutes ago as Joe and starts moving again.

“Marwan,” Luca says, letting his phone slip from his hand and onto the table, closing the distance between them. He crouches down and slowly and very, very carefully reaches out. “Marwan. It’s me.”

Marwan tenses when Luca’s hand touches his arm, and Luca bites his lips. He gently increases the pressure of his touch, just a little bit, while still keeping it light and hopefully unthreatening and soothing. “Marwan. Look at me?” For a moment, he contemplates calling Marwan _Joe_.

Marwan shakes his head at first but after another few tense seconds, he raises his head and opens his eyes. They’re a little bloodshot, and Luca can see how the pupils grow impossibly wide within fractions of seconds. The expression in those eyes is like a stab to Luca’s gut.

There’s sheer terror in them, and a struggle so intense it makes Luca suck in a sharp breath. A sound falls from Marwan’s lips that can only be described as a sob, and not even a second later, Marwan’s hands are in Luca’s hair, and their mouths are crushed together in the most desperate kiss Luca has ever shared with anyone in his entire life.

Marwan moans into the kiss, and his fingers feel like iron clamps against Luca’s skull. 

Luca sways on the balls of his feet, he’s still crouching next to Marwan, and he all but falls against Marwan’s side, only his hand on Marwan’s arm and Marwan’s fingers in his hair keeping him from toppling over. He can feel Marwan smile against his lips for the shortest time, but when Marwan’s fingers tangle in Luca’s still very matted hair, the smile turns into a curse.

“Fuck,” Marwan hisses, and “Shit,” his fingers tearing against the sticky knots, and Luca can feel him biting his lips and a violent shiver running through his body. “We need to get that shit out of your hair.”

The next thing Luca knows is that Marwan’s hands are fisted into the fabric of his – Nicky’s – t-shirt, and he’s being yanked to his feet and shoved into the small bathroom and into the shower. The water is still cold when it first hits him, and his vision gets blurry – from the water, from the make-up dissolving under the gradually warming spray, and from the shampoo Marwan’s trembling fingers are frantically, almost brutally massaging into his hair. 

The shower cabin is too small for them, the space to narrow, so Marwan’s only halfway inside, his shoulders and elbows banging against the doors constantly, water splashing on him, too, into his squinting eyes and over his shoulders into the tiny bathroom.

“Shit,” he curses under his breath and reaches for the shampoo bottle again. “It’s not coming off.”

When Luca looks down, the floor of the shower is covered in a dirty red, fake blood and dust, and the pieces of debris and fake brain matter that had been stuck to the back of Luca’s head have started to clog the drain, the water slowly beginning to raise in the shower’s low tub. His clothes are soaked, and the water is soaking into his shoes as well; and then Marwan turns him around so he’s facing the wall now and begins to work on the back of his head in earnest.

“It’s not real,” Marwan murmurs, and Luca squeezes his eyes shut against the imploring, almost manic tone in Marwan’s voice. “I know it’s not real. I _know_ it, but—”

“Marwan,” Luca tries to cut in, but Marwan doesn’t let him.

“No,” he says, and even though Luca can’t see him, the image of Marwan shaking his head, his lips bitten to a thin, pale line, is painfully clear in Luca’s mind. “No. _No._ ” He sounds as if he’s crying, but maybe it’s just the water on his face and in his eyes.

Luca feels as if something is wrapping itself around his rib cage, something tight and cold and heavy. The urge to turn around becomes overbearing, but Marwan is still scrubbing at his scalp, and the water at his feet is still red and dirty, so Luca stays put. 

“Nicky is all right,” Luca says after a while, and he notices his hands have clenched into tight fists. He takes a deep breath and loosens his muscles, breathes again. “Nicky has already come back, remember? He is alive,” he adds, and he can feel Marwan’s fingers hesitate for a fraction of a second. “He is—”

“It’s not about that,” Marwan grits out, and even though his voice is very low it sounds as if he’s yelling. “Shit. I’m not an idiot. I—” Marwan yanks the shower head from its bracket and brings it close to Luca’s scalp. “Close your eyes,” he presses through his teeth and starts to rinse the shampoo and the remaining fake blood out of Luca’s hair. “It’s not about that, it’s—”

Marwan lets the showerhead drop to the floor where it starts to move, the hose curling like a dying snake, spewing water everywhere. His fingers close around Luca’s arms, and he spins him around, rough and fast, and Luca almost stumbles. 

“I could have lost you.”

At first, Marwan doesn’t look at Luca, he stares at Luca’s shoes or at the shower’s floor, but then he looks up, and Luca’s stomach lurches. Marwan’s eyes are burning, there is no other way to describe the expression Luca finds in them. 

With Marwan’s hands still clasped around his arms, with Marwan’s fingers still digging bruises into his skin, Luca can’t move. The make-up, the shampoo and the water are stinging in his eyes as they’re struggling to hold Marwan’s devastating gaze.

“It’s too real,” Marwan murmurs, and his voice is so quite Luca can barely hear him over the sound of the thrashing showerhead and the spewing water. “This. This is too real.”

Luca doesn’t know what to say. He bites his lips, breathing against the rising panic and through the pain of Marwan’s iron grip. 

“It looked as if you were dead,” he says, “your eyes. They looked as if you were dead.” And then, after a pause, “It’s too new, I shouldn’t—I shouldn’t love you this much already.”

There’s a ringing in Luca’s ears, and when Marwan finally lets go of his arms and takes half a step backwards, letting his eyes wander up and down Luca’s body, it feels as if he’s falling. He opens his mouth, but just like this morning no words come out.

“Shit,” Marwan says, his voice raw and hoarse all of a sudden, like a wound. “Gina’s going to kill me.” He runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head. “Fuck.”

It takes Luca a moment to shake from his stupor, but when he can he bows down and picks up the showerhead. He quickly rinses the last remains of foam and make-up out of his hair and turns the shower off.

Marwan seems frozen in place, shivering, so Luca places a hand on his shoulder and gently pushes a little, urging Marwan another step back so he can get out of the shower. 

“Come on,” Luca says, trying for a small smile. “Let’s get out of the wet clothes.” 

Marwan nods. His cheeks look hollow, and he’s far too pale, but he nods. His hands shake as he begins to undress, and Luca bites his lips again when he sees how Marwan fumbles with the buttons of his pants. 

They leave the wet clothes right there, on the floor of the tiny bathroom, and dry themselves off in the living area. When they’re done, Luca tosses the towel on one of the chairs and looks around. He’ll have to borrow some of Marwan’s clothes, there are enough lying around.

When Marwan clears his throat, Luca looks up.

Marwan stands there, naked, the towel still in his hand, and the invisible weight he’s carrying on his shoulders looks at least Joe’s nine hundred years old.

“Can we—” he begins to speak, but then he pauses and clears his throat again. “Can we go to bed now? Just for a while?”

Luca looks over Marwan’s shoulder to the small bedroom compartment at the end of the trailer and nods. “Yeah,” he says, and it looks as if the weight is being lifted from Marwan’s shoulders a little at that. “Yeah, we can do that.”

He grabs his phone from the table and sends a quick text to Gina; then he closes the distance and takes the towel from Marwan’s hand, letting it fall to the floor. He reaches for Marwan’s arms and gently turns him around so he’s facing the direction of the bedroom. “Come on, let’s go then.”

Marwan sighs heavily as he slips underneath the covers, and he sighs again when Luca slides up next to him. He takes Luca into his arms and pulls him close, burying his nose in Luca’s still damp hair.

“Hmmmmm,” he half-sighs, half-moans, and Luca closes his eyes, feeling the warmth Marwan’s body is radiating seep into him. “I’m so tired…”

Luca nods and closes his eyes. “We can sleep now,” he says and feels Marwan nod as well.

Slowly but surely, Marwan’s breathing becomes calmer and much more even. After many minutes, when Luca is almost sure that Marwan has fallen asleep, Marwan speaks again.

“I’m so fucking in love with you,” he whispers into Luca’s still damp hair. “And I don’t know what to do about that.”

*****

When Luca wakes up a couple of hours later, he realizes three things almost at once.

One, he’s still in Marwan’s arms, one outstretched under Luca’s neck, one sprawled across his chest, Marwan’s fingers resting on his upper arm.

Two, Marwan’s awake, and his heart is beating so hard and so fast Luca can feel it everywhere. 

Three, Marwan is rock hard and throbbing against Luca’s hip; it’s hot and slippery where the tip of Marwan’s pulsing cock touches against Luca’s skin, and Marwan’s carefully measured breath, a seemingly superhuman effort, is just as hot at Luca’s throat, Marwan’s lips just a little open and a little wet. 

Marwan seems to notice Luca shifting from sleep to consciousness almost immediately, it doesn’t even need that little hitch of breath that accompanies the lurch in Luca’s stomach. Marwan moans, a sound so desperate and filled with so much need it’s almost unbearable, sending low, lingering vibrations through Luca’s entire body.

Luca’s hard in an instant and he tries to roll onto his side and face Marwan, but Marwan holds him in place with his arm across his chest and with the way his body tenses.

“Don’t move,” Marwan murmurs, and Luca can feel how Marwan squeezes his eyes shut, how he holds his breath for a moment before he speaks again. “If you move, I’ll come.” Marwan swallows thickly. “I don’t have condoms here,” he adds when he can speak again, his voice laced with an arousal so intense it takes Luca’s breath away.

“Fuck—" feeling how close Marwan is, how he’s holding himself so still right there on the very verge of climax draws a moan from Luca’s lips before he can bite them to stifle it.

“If _I_ move, I’ll come,” Marwan says when Luca tries to nod. 

Again, Marwan stills Luca’s movements – he crooks his right arm under him and around his neck and cups Luca’s forehead, pulling Luca’s head a little closer towards him. 

Luca wants to take himself in hand, his cock desperate for friction and already leaking, but he doesn’t. Next to him, Marwan exhales shakily.

“Move,” Luca murmurs but Marwan doesn’t. Instead, he starts to speak.

“I can’t,” Marwan whispers, and it’s nothing more than that, a hoarse whisper fluttering against Luca’s skin. It is intoxicating and it pushes something inside Luca, something that drives his own arousal beyond any kind of need he’s ever felt before.

“I can’t because if I move now, I’ll come. ‘m so turned on, ’s what you do to me, ’s how it is now, everything, all the time, and I’m sorry, sorry, I think I came, a little, maybe, when you were sleeping. Don’t know. Feels like coming now, right now, all the _fucking time_ I can’t stop, feels so fucking good, fuck, so good, Luca, can’t, ’m gonna—sorry, fuck, oh fuck, so good, so in love with this, you, so good, so fucking good, can’t—”

“Move, please,” Luca moans helplessly and he knows he won’t be able to remain this still for very much longer with Marwan so close and so beautifully incoherent right here by his side. Marwan’s hand is firm and hot and sweaty against Luca’s forehead, and Luca wants is to grab it and bring it to his mouth, lick between Marwan’s fingers, taste him everywhere. “God, Marwan, please move—"

It’s just the smallest thrust when Marwan finally does, so subtle it’s sublime; it’s just this smallest thrust that pushes Marwan over the edge, and, spreading from the first hot spurt of come against Luca’s skin, Luca can feel it everywhere. He can feel Marwan shaking through it, trembling, his whispered words turning into continuous moans of pleasure and bliss. It’s so beautiful it makes Luca’s eyes prickle, and growing warmth in his chest expands until they’re both enveloped inside.

Luca doesn’t even think about coming himself anymore, utterly caught up in the intensity of Marwan’s seemingly endless orgasm. 

When the waves finally ebb, Marwan lets go of Luca’s forehead, nudges at Luca’s jaw and searches for Luca’s lips blindly. Luca can taste the sweetness of Marwan’s release on Marwan’s lips and tongue when they kiss, and it’s so good it’s almost too much to bear. He can’t help but moan into Marwan’s mouth, finally moving his hand to his groin.

“Wait,” Marwan breaks the kiss when Luca begins to stroke himself, his cock insanely hard in his grip. “Let me—” He brings his fingers to his mouth and pushes them inside, licking around them, getting them wet. The next moment, he has moved between Luca’s legs, and his mouth is on Luca’s cock while he breaches Luca’s body with just the very tip of one slick finger. 

“Fuck—” Luca’s hips buck. He tries to keep himself from thrusting, one hand tangled in Marwan’s curls, his other arm covering his eyes. Marwan’s beard tickles the inside of Luca’s thighs, the most delicious, the most agonizing sensation, a sensation so intense it nearly drives Luca out of his mind with want. “This is not going to take long—” He loves how Marwan seems completely focused on making him come now, how he’s not drawing this out. And Marwan is incredibly good at it, doing all the right things with his tongue and with his lips and with his fingers, so it really doesn’t take long until Luca reaches the point of no return as well and spends himself in Marwan’s mouth.

Marwan swallows around Luca’s cock as he comes, and his fingers inside of Luca’s body still almost completely, just the smallest rub and pressure remaining. It’s blinding, both inside and out.

Moaning and cursing under his breath, his hips and legs trembling with every wave of his climax, Luca comes and comes and comes, and Marwan takes it all. Luca’s body is still humming with it, the last shocks are still running through him when Marwan is lying next to him again, his hand having replaced his mouth, his lips on Luca’s, and Luca’s taste shared between their tongues. 

It takes them a while to come down from this, kissing and touching, their legs entwined and their cocks unbelievably sensitive against each other, and it takes them even longer before they’re able to speak again.

“I’m sorry,” Marwan murmurs, tilting his head a little to brush his lips over the pulse beating in Luca’s throat. “I don’t know what came over me. I apologize.”

Luca’s brows furrow into a frown and he withdraws a little, propping himself up on one elbow. He reaches for the covers, pulls them up and over them and inches a little closer. At first, Marwan won’t look at him but Luca keeps tracing his fingertips over Marwan’s features, gently, softly, until he does.

“Do you remember what you said to me?” Luca asks, and for a moment Marwan bites his lips and closes his eyes. When he opens them again they’re wide and glittering. “What you said earlier?”

Marwan shakes his head, and Luca’s stomach drops. 

“Not much,” Marwan says and draws his lower lip between his teeth. Then he reaches up and runs his fingertips over Luca’s lips. “But I do remember that I told you that I loved you. That I was in love with you,” he adds, his lips curling into the faintest of smiles.

“You remember that?”

Marwan nods. “Yeah, I do.” His smile broadens a little as he keeps caressing Luca’s face. “I know it’s not been long, this, _us_ , and I know that I shouldn’t have just said it like that, but—” He shrugs, and his smile falters again. “And I don’t know what to do about it. About you. But it is what it is.”

Luca leans in and captures Marwan’s lips in a slow, lingering kiss. It’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. “It is,” he says, and watches the expression change in Marwan’s eyes – waiting for the last traces of weariness disappear from them. 

“I need to call Gina,” Marwan says. “I need to apologize. For ruining the take.”

“You didn’t ruin the take,” Luca says. Marwan’s fingertips are soft and warm when they run along Luca’s jawline and over his lips. He kisses them softly on their way. “I think it will turn out a good take. I think Gina will put it in the final cut.”

Marwan’s fingers burrow underneath the covers, push them down a little. They wander down Luca’s shoulder to his arm and they stop at the bruises they’ve left there earlier, in the shower.

“I’m sorry,” Marwan says, wincing. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He pulls his lower lip between his teeth, worries it. He looks as if he’s in pain, as if he’s about to cry.

“Good thing we already shot the lab scenes,” Luca says, trying to make light of it, and catches Marwan’s hand in his. He brings it to his mouth and places a soft kiss on Marwan’s knuckles. “It’s nothing. They will fade, you’ll see.”

Marwan releases a long, shaky breath and moves to rise, but Luca’s fingers wrap around his wrist, hold him in place. “Wait. I haven’t—”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Marwan says softly, avoiding Luca’s gaze. “I know this is silly. I know it’s probably just _bleed_. And yeah, I should be too old for shit like this; I’m too experienced, and I’m sorry I—But this is so intense. The entire shoot is just so fucking intense. Nine hundred years, I mean—And then you—you are just…” His thumb brushes over the back of Luca’s hand again and again, and every time it does it feels like the sweetest caress. A reverence, a prayer, an apology. “You don’t have to feel uncomfortable, though. When we work, I mean. On set, around me. Or just—" he adds after a short pause, and finally his eyes meet Luca’s. “I’m not—We can keep doing this, if you want to, that is. Have fun. _This_ ,” he makes a vague gesture with his hand, “is not going to happen again. I can control it. It—It will fade.” He looks away again, biting his lips.

“What if I don’t want it to fade?” Luca asks, his heart expanding with hope until his chest feels too small to hold it all in. He kisses Marwan’s knuckles again, smiles. “What if I don’t think it is silly? That it is shit?”

“You—What.”

“I’m like you,” Luca says, searching for Marwan’s eyes. When he finds them, they’re filled with question – and with a sparkle that reminds Luca of the sunrise. The beginning of new day. “I’m the same. I’m like you,” he says again. “Like this. I do not want it to fade. I want to find out what it is, what it means. I want us to find out together.”

Marwan looks as if Luca’s words need some time to register with him, some time to make it through, but when they do, the smile that lights up on Marwan’s face is definitely sunrise. He leans in, kisses Luca fully on the lips, his fingers gently touching Luca’s chin. 

Luca opens his lips, lets Marwan in. He can feel himself beginning to stir once more, and his stomach flutters. He can’t wait for Marwan to be inside him again, and that’s exactly what he murmurs into their kiss, that’s exactly what he tells Marwan with lips and touches and words, over and over again. That he’s so in love his head is swimming with it, and it’s not the least bit silly. Not at all.

~fin~

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [sal-si-puedes](https://sal-si-puedes.tumblr.com/) on tumblr - come and say "Hi!"!


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